¡Viva España!

Look... It's me (on the left)

Today we go a little bit continental. Last summer I spent some time in Barcelona but as far as food was concerned I only had a budget that stretched to some crusty bread and a slice of cheese, with an apple for a treat. I was gutted that I missed out on the local tapas.

So, this week I'm turning up the heat on my cooking journey. Mum is taking me back to Spain (no, not literally just metaphorically speaking) to teach me to cook tapas. We're not looking to cook typical tapas like squid, chorizo or king prawns... I'm going to produce some mini meatballs.

You may be thinking that I have bitten off more than I can chew, seeing as Mum is also a tapas novice, and you'd probably be quite right because to be honest this challenge was hard ta-pass.

I'm working with ingredients which I have come to love in my previous lessons. Dicing an onion has become second nature but that doesn't mean that they don't still catch me out. It got me this time, the critter and I've sprung a leek, tears streaming down my face... I've either rubbed my eye or the smell of the onion has tickled my nose - I'm not sure which but the onion eyes have got me AGAIN but I soldier on.

Suddenly things take a nasty turn. I'm merrily chopping my way through the offending onion when disaster strikes and I attempt to slice off my finger! Oh, okay the knife slipped and tickled my finger - it didn't break the skin, there was no blood and a blue plaster was not required (although they do look quite cool - but imagine finding one in your food?)

My first accident since I have started my cooking journey and I feel lucky to have all of my digits intact. Today's first lesson comes in the form of personal survival - be careful when you're chopping, make a finger barrier against the side of the knife... it's hard to explain (I'll make a video lesson). Alternatively, in true Blue Peter fashion, ask a responsible adult to help you (Mum...)

Now, when it came to browning the onion and other ingredients I wasn't actually allowed to let them brown, I had to let them turn transparent, which was a little... confusing to say the least but I managed.

Once the fried, see-through onions had cooled it was time to make balls - along with the mince, bread crumbs and a WHAT... an egg yolk! How on earth do you get the yolk out of an egg? This must be a yolk right? My Nan once taught me that separating eggs was simple, you just move them apart like two naughty children (mind you she'd had a few sherries, so I'm not so sure she was serious).

Anyway, getting back to the cooking and egg separating was really awful. I had to crack the egg in half with a knife and let the egg white (the white bit of the egg) drip out over my fingers. At the same time I had to tip the yolk from one half of the shell to the other. It wasn't pleasant, I'm really not an egg fan.

Mum was eggspecting a disaster but she was quite shocked at how well it all went. She said it was an 'eggcellent' effort - not sure she meant this, she should really leave the yolks to me... or is that just shell-fish of me?

So it's time to get my hands dirty; I had to play with my balls... WOW now come on, I had to turn the mince mix into meatballs - I know what you were thinking and what you get up to in your kitchen is entirely up to you... but not here.

Once the meatballs were frying in the pan I turned my attention to the sauce.

But hang on a second, it suddenly strikes me that I've forgotten to add the chilli to the meatball mix. Lesson number two is expensive - make sure all your ingredients actually go into the dish (expensive because I only bought the chilli for this dish and then didn't use it - damn!)

Back to the sauce, I dropped the now pricked tomatoes into boiling water for 30 seconds, picked them out and stripped them of their skin. Now I had to squeeze the naked tomatoes to get the pips out, which somehow reminded me of milking a cow which is rather strange because as far as I know I've never milked a cow (take it away Farmer Jack). I just squeezed the tomatoes and pips and juice flew out at all angles - quite messy but effective and really good fun...

The tomatoes were chopped and added to the meatballs along with the lemon, remaining onions and garlic and slowly cooked until hot... finished and served - tapas dish complete.

I'm now a continental chef with experience in both Spanish and Italian dishes... surely something for the CV?

Zees continental cooking malarkey isn't zat difficult... is eet?

Don't forget to check out my Recipe Page if you would like to re-create any of my dishes - can you cut it?

For Starters

For the first series of lessons Mum and I decided to rustle up an easy meal of three courses, so we start, not surprisingly, with a starter.

My first lesson and Mum has picked a really simple starter which everyone can enjoy (with or without teeth!) - Tomato and Basil Soup. 

Now, before I got to actually cook anything I'm looking through the ingredients and realise that I'm completely unaware that a Tomato and Basil Soup contains more varieties of vegetables than come up for sale down the local market - with celery, carrot, onion and garlic in there I was beginning to think this tomato soup was really a vegetable soup.

However, I am reliably informed by Mum that 'if it wasn't for the vegetables there wouldn't be anything in there'. Here is lesson number one - don't judge a dish by it's name, it could contain anything!

So, accepting the numerous vegetables involved we get cracking. Now I thought preparing the vegetables would be the easy bit, until I heard 'Chris, you're going to have no carrot left!' Turns out I was peeling the vegetables wrong, being far too thorough apparently and stripping the poor carrot to within an inch of it's life. Quick change of tactic required, I started to peel towards me and soon enough that peeler was flying through the carrots (taking only the skin) and Mum was quiet again, pottering off to knit or something. Lesson number two - always peel towards you and leave some of the vegetable intact! 

Having terrorised the carrots with a rather wanton peeler I came across obstacle number two, onions. Innocent as they may look with their smooth brown skin and tufty rooty bottom, they don't half kick up a stink when you cut into them. My eyes were as red as a... red onion, but Mum wasn't suffering as her contact lenses doubled up as a onion juice guard. Lenses aside I will have to come up with something to stop that business (any ideas will be gratefully received). 

Anyway with everything in the pan, the vegetables are beginning to bubble away nicely in the stock. Time to add the tomatoes but it didn't occur to me, at this point, that dropping a solid 'ball' (which incidentally is a fruit not a vegetable) from a height would end up in me having a shower in what can only be described as 'vegetable dishwater'. Ok so I'm covered and I've learnt the hard way!

Red eyed and covered in vegetable juice things do take a turn for the good and appear to be fairly smooth from here on in... the scene now resembles a Halloween pot of bobbing apples... this is insane.

We finished by pulverising the whole vegetable mush turning into a soupy sort of liquid. Surprisingly, after a twist of salt and pepper seasoning it actually tastes quite nice!!

So... my first lesson is souper and I'm sure I can replicate that or at least I think I can (if not I can always fall back on Heinz).

Next up an easy main, this cooking malarkey isn't really that difficult... is it?

P.S Mum was still washing up on Wednesday.